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MattCrap: Acoustic Weekly

by The Dumb Fox

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  • Streaming + Download

    I'll be uploading an acoustic track once a week (every Thursday) for a while (or until it gets to b a pain in the ass). Dumb Fox songs, covers, or stuff from other side projects & defunct bands-- Thanks for listening.
    Purchasable with gift card

     

1.
i saw her in the lab late one night where she gave me quite an awful fright i spoke to her and she didn't know what i meant she wasn't a person she was one of the experiments the bride of frankenstein, i want her to be mine i love her skin of green, her white hair lightning streak the bride of frankenstein, i want her to be mine but i'm not frankenstein the doctor made her for his only homunculus cause he figured he'd be feeling some loneliness even though he made her for another man her spell on me i can never recover from
2.
she was perfect and she was clean one of the best i'd ever seen why'd she change, man, what'd she fear fuck it all, can i get a beer have you seen that sXe girl no, not an s.E.x girl ink and chains and spikes and curls not another better in the world i wanna girl that's pure and true whaddaya think i been sayin' to you I want that sXe girl I see a mini-skirt and high heeled shoes furry scarfs instead of tattoos why she's dressed like a slut I don't care she can kiss my butt now she drink/smokes and she screws around what happened to that girl i found i thought she had some class nope, i guess she can kiss my ass
3.
mom & dad just scream and shout they say son go get a job my dad says steve hey act your age and quit looking like a slob get off my ass for a 40 hour week they say yes but that'll never work for me mom and dad don't like me anymore oh no i'm so sick of them and i'm so bored mom and dad just like to scream and shout oh yeah but i won't stick around to hear them pout i sit around and eat all day i don't wanna clean my room they tell me to get a job but i'm too busy drinking brew get off my ass for a 40 hour week they say yes but that'll never work for me © Stupid Jerks, 2000
4.
the ben weasel punch is touchy as an abortion vote cantankerous and rude if i'm not in the same boat i don't have to pick a side if i don't want to why do people always jump straight to an absolute he shouldn't have hit a girl she shouldn't have fucked around he didn't have to be a prick we can go round and round i don't give a fuck what do i don't give a fuck what do neither of them were right and neither are you i don't give a fuck what do i hope i don't fuck up cause i've seen what you do you'll bail out on me as if i did it to you i don't own him shit but i owe him more than that that's the price we pay for living on the internet pop goes the weasel consider it closed
5.
Brewed with Pure Rocky Mountain Spring Water this kinda dog won't wear a dog collar up in old golden colorado the full moon is what makes us go go go got some silver bullets in my right hand one for me and one for my friend, wolfie man i dont want taste great or less filling i just wanna stop the senseless killing get the silver bullets out tonight, yeah the silver bullet's right all right take down a lycanthrope then cool off your throat get the silver bullets out tonight a curse or blessing i'm not one to say i'm already kinda hairy anyway that's the funny thing bout going wolf to man you still like the cold activated can
6.
joe queer was an asshole joe queer was an asshole for a guy with a weird name you wouldn't think he'd be so lame but joe queer was an asshole many many years ago i watched him from the pit i talked to him after the show and he was such a prick apparently we're all here to service his ego if that's what this ticket is for then i don't wanna go if he hates the scene so much why does he bounce around from fuck-you punk to lovey dove both are his trademark sound i love the queers and i love their tunes so don't get me wrong there's only one reason for me that i had to write this song ...i don't think he'd disagree ...the next time i met him he was cool
7.
Show me how you do that trick The one that makes me scream" she said "The one that makes me laugh" she said And threw her arms around my neck "Show me how you do it And I promise you I promise that I'll run away with you I'll run away with you" Spinning on that dizzy edge I kissed her face and kissed her head And dreamed of all the different ways I had To make her glow "Why are you so far away?" she said "Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you That I'm in love with you" You, Soft and only You, Lost and lonely You, Strange as angels Dancing in the deepest oceans Twisting in the water You're just like a dream Daylight licked me into shape I must have been asleep for days And moving lips to breathe her name I opened up my eyes And found myself alone alone Alone above a raging sea That stole the only girl I loved And drowned her deep inside of me © the Cure
8.
west memphis is a shit hole if ya didn't already know west memphis is a shit hole and don't really wanna go in the streets got little poor boys doin back flips for spare change i don't if their mom or dad works but it still seems quite a shame now that brings me to stockton not too far from where i'm from we hail from kick ass lodi and probably will til kingdom come stockton's gotta decent crime rate when i say decent i mean obsene we don't share west memphis distinction not the rape capital of san joaquin
9.
i took a shit in your pot o' gold when they were making assholes, with me they broke the mold i could've used the toilet, or anywhere i chose but i just wanted to give you an extra special fuck you i took a shit in your pot o' gold i am the asshole that your mamma foretold i never die, i'm like the common cold i took a shit in your pot o' gold
10.
let's go eat (x3) tonight let's go eat (x3) tonight let's go to dennys or even taco bell let's just go anywhere man i don't give a hell let's go to carrows or even pizza hut let's just go anywhere man i don't give a fuck i don't give a fuck (x3) where we eat tonight
11.
we can't hold onto a bass player to save our fuckin lives maybe it's a simple case of hygiene or something much deeper from which i like to hide we're getting used to dirty looks from all the cute young girls room and it's odd that it doesn't phase me just another aspect that i've gotten used to we're a dumber little band that most people can't stand cause we sing about big wieners and lesbians and it's kinda getting out of hand we're old and suck just like we did back then let's go, let's go we'd be alright to do it ourselves if we really had to but let's just face it a two man band doesn't sound as cool
12.
what the fuck is wrong with interpunk why do they charge so much for the same junk that i can go and pick up on amazon dot com i think it's really really really really fuckin wrong their shipping's always sucked one shirt costs you twelve bucks and that's after you paid fourteen twenty five for it
13.
i'm sorry i can't tell you all the whys i love you no matter how many times you ask me to why i'm with you you ask for reasons i can't give'em to you there's a million ways to be poetic i think you'd agree it's kinda pathetic it's not flick like chuck and cera's (or chuck and sara) even if it's not fake, i still love ya this thing called love, you can't quantify it's not a job, no need to apply
14.
do ya got tit? i wanna know do ya got tit? you gotta show do ya got tit? i wanna know, whoa oh do ya got tit? i wanna know under your sweater, (under your tank top) you gotta show do ya got tit? i wanna know, whoa oh i just wanna see your boobies i just wanna see'em now please just show me your boobies i promise not to treat you like a cow
15.
It's not the right time to be sober Now the idiots have taken over Spreading like a social cancer, is there an answer? Mensa membership conceding Tell me why and how are all the stupid people breeding Watson, it's really elementary The industrial revolution Has flipped the bitch on evolution The benevolent and wise are being thwarted, ostracized, what a bummer The world keeps getting dumber Insensitivity is standard and faith is being fancied over reason Darwin's rolling over in his coffin The fittest are surviving much less often Now everything seems to be reversing, and it's worsening Someone flopped a steamer in the gene pool Now angry mob mentality's no longer the exception, it's the rule And I'm starting to feel a lot like Charlton Heston Stranded on a primate planet Apes and orangutans that ran it to the ground With generals and the armies that obeyed them Followers following fables Philosophies that enable them to rule without regard There's no point for democracy when ignorance is celebrated Political scientists get the same one vote as some Arkansas inbred Majority rule, don't work in mental institutions Sometimes the smallest softest voice carries the grand biggest solutions What are we left with? A nation of god-fearing pregnant nationalists Who feel it's their duty to populate the homeland Pass on traditions How to get ahead religions And prosperity via simpleton culture The idiots are taking over
16.
does the pope shit in the woods? seriously, i don't know if he wanted to i'm sure that he could or does he hold it in for hours, when he needs to go showing restraint that you and i never would it's not that i'm an insensitive prick just cause i don't care about your religious shit and when i say this i'm not alone to eats his own
17.
we're the shitty ramones and we got no plan we played more times than we practiced and when we play it shows but we still have fun we're the shitty ramones and we don't give a fuck we hope you have fun and we wish you luck we'll hang out with your girl if you think that'd help please drop your pissy attitude nobody likes it even when they have one too it's too much stress just give it a rest and you might find your problems get postponed... we're the shitty ramones you talk alotta shit but not man to man you say we suck cause we're a cover band i feel sorry for you cause you can't let go but we can it's not all about who's tougher than you anybody is and you know it's true we're here to have a good time we hope that you are too.
18.
there's this girl i know and i think she'll blow all the boys away in california like cyborg 2 she's a sex bomb there's this girl i know she's diagnosed nympho you've gotta watch your back if you make her climax she'll go off
19.
I could go off the deep end I could kill all my best friends I could follow those stylish trends But God knows I could make amends But I've got an angry heart Filled with cancers and poppy tarts If this is how you folks make art it's fucking depressing And it's sad to know that we are not alone And it's sad to know that there's no honest way out I'm afraid to leave the house I'm as timid as a mouse I'm afraid if I go out I'll outwear my welcome I'm not a courageous man I don't have any big lasting plans Too cowardly to take a stand I want to keep my nose clean And it's sad to know that we're not alone in this And it's sad to know that there's no honest way out In this life we lead We could conquer everything If we could just get the brave to get out of bed in the morning
20.
my brain is gone. my brain is long gone. my brain is gone. don't know where it's gone to. where it's gone to, my runaway brain. my brain grew something new today. my brain grew little tendril legs. my brain just started walkin' around. my brain just up and left town
21.
i gotta call from doug tonight, he says we're gonna play a bar show i said i was down to go, but there's one thing that he's gotta know he knows how much i like to play when i'm good and hammered then i fuck up all the solos and lyrics all get stammered you can keep the Kahlua, just give me the booze, sir you might think i'm a loser, but i'm an amateur abuser i won't be drinking that long cause i've gotta sing this song barkeep, will you set me up with one more white trash car bomb now i don't need your fancy brews, your IPA's or your stouts all i need's a lager that can right quick knock my head out what's in cans, or bottle, on tap, depends on the place the only thing that matters is that i'm totally shit-faced
22.
hey you, i didn't know it was fucking halloween if that's how i'm supposed to look, then fuck this fucking scene you do end up looking cool, that much i'll admit but the time it takes to pull that off, man I couldn't give a shit your whole identity is wrapped up in being fake spending hours to look like a well fair case finest punk apparel, yer parents can afford but to me it just wreaks of effort
23.
i've fucking had it with all of these stupid acoustic shows they're rarely good, and barely ever fun, and nobody even goes you've got two dudes drinking coffee like they do there every night and the owner's all pissed cause you dropped the fucking f-bomb once or twice i don't care if they're good i don't care if they're great i wanna see some fucking bands so we can fill this place if you wanna see some shows? (say fuck yeah) FUCK YEAH! if you wanna see some shows? say FUCK YEAH YEAH YEAH if you're tired of this scene and you wanna wipe it clean then start over and start singing along with me i'm not a fucking beatnik, i didn't bring a pair of bongos i brought amps and drums and guys and stuff, cause that's what you call a show one dude strumming his guitar on his own can only go so far i'd rather listen to a whole damn band, even if they are sub-par
24.
1977 was the best year ever It's when R2-D2 ruled the world I don't care what Sideous says He's a little bitch I'll shove my lightsaber up his ass I'll shove my lightsaber up his ass I'll just shove it deep in his ass. I love ewoks (yeah) Princess Leia (yeah) Naked Princess Leia (hell yeah) I love Star Wars I love Star Wars I love Star Wars Han Solo rolls with his friend Chewbacca They're running from the bounty hunters Luke's a cool dude from Tattooine He wants to be a badass Jedi I wish I was a badass Jedi I'll use the Force like a badass Jedi I love tauntauns (yeah) Darth Vader (yeah) Yoda (hell yeah) I love Star Wars I love Star Wars I love Star Wars Obi-Wan Kenobi got the crap kicked out of him By Darth Vader his old apprentice used to call him Anakin Luke hears his voice in his head all day long And then he showed his daddy that the dark side was just wrong I love ewoks (yeah) Princess Leia (yeah) Naked Princess Leia (hell yeah) I love Star Wars I love Star Wars I love Star Wars Lightsabers (yeah) X-Wings (yeah) Death Star (hell yeah) I love Star Wars I love Star Wars I fucking love Star Wars
25.
the reason i do it now is cause no one did it for me when i needed that push there was no one in that scene back when everybody in town believed there was an "i" in team all out for themselves never shared an encouraging...word you can help them help himself with what you've learned as well experience is not a secret to keep to yourself what you've learned along the way, you shouldn't take with you to hell just because you've worked for it, doesn't mean it belongs to you when there are so many more, who were once like you, doing what you do just lend a helping hand
26.
so fucking sick of you, regurgitate the evening news do you know who you are, are any thoughts from you still yours i'm so sick of you i'm so sick of you every fucking day, with the same things that you say i'm so sick of you
27.
Do you want to dance and hold my hand Tell me baby I'm your lover man Oh baby do you want to dance? Do you want to dance under the moonlight Hold me baby all through the night Oh baby Do you want to dance? Do you, do you, do you Do you want to dance Do you, do you, do you Do you want to dance Do you, do you, do you Do you want to dance? Do you want to dance under the moonlight Kiss me baby all through the night Oh baby Do you want to dance? Do you want to dance under the moonlight Squeeze me, squeeze me baby all through the night Oh baby Do you want to dance? Do you, do you, do you Do you want to dance Do you, do you, do you Do you want to dance Do you, do you, do you Do you want to dance? Do you, do you, do you Do you want to dance Do you, do you, do you Do you want to dance Do you, do you, do you Do you want to dance Do you, do you, do you Do you want to dance Do you, do you, do you Do you want to dance Do you, do you, do you Do you want to dance
28.
I want to be your dominated love slave I want to be the one that takes the pain You can spank me when I do not behave Mack me in the forehead with a chain Cause I love feelin' dirty And I love feelin' cheap And I love it when you hurt me So drive them staples deep I want you to slap me and call me naughty Put a beltsander against my skin I want to feel pain all over my body Can't wait to be punished for my sins. Cause I love feelin' dirty And I love feelin' cheap And I love it when you hurt me So drive them staples deep Yee-hah! Cause I love feelin' dirty And I love feelin' cheap And I love it when you hurt me So drrrriiiveeee.....Staples?
29.
back in high school going nowhere i did one thing to get them to stare bought a pair of red chuck taylors a big fat dork ace'n all my papers getting laughed at by one and all with every step i took down that hall who would have thought where i was when i was me would be where they claimed to be i don't need ink on my skin or steel in my face to prove that i'm the coolest cat in this place cause i don't fucking care i've got my Red Shoe Diarrhea sparrow pairs and iron cross american eagle our soul is lost lucky dice with hard luck all i've got is a pair of chucks that i never wear cause i'm sick you see of outlaw being normalcy adhering to supposed punk rock laws a neo rebel without a clause you don't need ink on yer skin or steel in yer face to prove you're the saddest girl in this place all ya need is time and a peek at my Red Shoe Diarrhea amongst a sea of converse allstar wondering how it all strayed so far underground by definition can't be sustained by recognition i don't give in, so don't give up there's easier ways of goin' nuts if you look like him and she looks like her you can all be fake rock together i don't need ink on my skin or steel in my face to prove that i'm the smoothest dude in this place cause i don't fucking care i've got my Red Shoe Diarrhea i finally understand all those punk songs detesting everything where i come from suburban kids get ahold of music in comes fashion and mis-use it just a theft like any other and open source for all to smother light a match, burn to the ground muffling all that anthem sound i don't need ink on my skin or steel in my face to prove that i'm the sanest guy in this place you don't need ink on yer skin or steel in yer face to prove that you're the saddest fuck in this place all ya need is time and to read through my Red Shoe Diarrhea
30.
Tonight I'm gonna have myself a real good time I feel alive and the world I'll turn it inside out - yeah And floating around in ecstasy So don't stop me now don't stop me 'Cause I'm having a good time having a good time I'm a shooting star leaping through the sky Like a tiger defying the laws of gravity I'm a racing car passing by like Lady Godiva I'm gonna go go go There's no stopping me I'm burnin' through the sky yeah Two hundred degrees That's why they call me Mister Fahrenheit I'm trav'ling at the speed of light I wanna make a supersonic man out of you Don't stop me now I'm having such a good time I'm having a ball Don't stop me now If you wanna have a good time just give me a call Don't stop me now ('Cause I'm having a good time) Don't stop me now (Yes I'm havin' a good time) I don't want to stop at all Yeah, I'm a rocket ship on my way to Mars On a collision course I am a satellite I'm out of control I am a sex machine ready to reload Like an atom bomb about to Oh oh oh oh oh explode I'm burnin' through the sky yeah Two hundred degrees That's why they call me Mister Fahrenheit I'm trav'ling at the speed of light I wanna make a supersonic woman of you Don't stop me don't stop me Don't stop me hey hey hey Don't stop me don't stop me Ooh ooh ooh, I like it Don't stop me don't stop me Have a good time good time Don't stop me don't stop me ah Oh yeah Alright Oh, I'm burnin' through the sky yeah Two hundred degrees That's why they call me Mister Fahrenheit I'm trav'ling at the speed of light I wanna make a supersonic man out of you Don't stop me now I'm having such a good time I'm having a ball Don't stop me now If you wanna have a good time (wooh) Just give me a call (alright) Don't stop me now ('Cause I'm having a good time - yeah yeah) Don't stop me now (Yes I'm havin' a good time) I don't want to stop at all
31.
didya ever notice that the power plant secretes and energy that makes all of the rotting flesh unique you hear a rumble coming on up from the ground beneath a horde of toxic undead up and walking on their feet let's go didya hear me, let's go to the cemetery t'kill some ghoulies let's go voodoo mama juju didn't do hoodoo tonight there's only one true culprit that we got down dead-to-right the nuclear reactor might give this town it's light but now all that it's givin' us, is givin' us a fight
32.
There was darkness, there was light There was day and there was night There was wrong and there was right And then there was me You didn't even know me but you treated me like dirt (And then there was me) You didn't even know me but you called me a jerk (And then there was me) I'm from a planet near a star You wouldn't know, it's very far They're calling me the man from Mars But I think they're insulting me They tried to take my special suit (Insulting me) They say my head looks like fruit (What is fruit?) (Insulting me) Put your hands up or I'll shoot! I don't have hands Across the galaxy, I flew Heard a peaceful message sent by you Now I find you're judged by color and size I can't believe what you called my... I'm the guy who sailed the sky, but I think I'd like to live here Like to share you mountains, share your trees and share your rivers I've never seen so many beings of so many colours I'd like one day for you to say that I could call you brothers (And then there was we) I'd like to learn about your pizza and your weather (And then there was we) Then we could learn about how beings live together (And then there was we) So if you're thinking about being a spaceman It won't matter if you're black or white Or purple or green or blue or red Or yellow with polka dots on your head Or made of snow, or made of wheat Or looking like something that's kind of a treat...
33.
34.

credits

released April 14, 2011

Matt Crap -guitar, sangin, kazoo, shitty keyboard, or whatever else, etc

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The Dumb Fox Lodi, California

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