i gotta call from doug tonight, he says we're gonna play a bar show
i said i was down to go, but there's one thing that he's gotta know
he knows how much i like to play when i'm good and hammered
then i fuck up all the solos and lyrics all get stammered
you can keep the Kahlua, just give me the booze, sir
you might think i'm a loser, but i'm an amateur abuser
i won't be drinking that long
cause i've gotta sing this song
barkeep, will you set me up with one more white trash car bomb now
i don't need your fancy brews, your IPA's or your stouts
all i need's a lager that can right quick knock my head out
what's in cans, or bottle, on tap, it depends on the place
the only thing that matters is that i'm totally shit-faced
...one more mettler High ball
...one more jack and coke
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